My Fall Line-Up

"We need to talk," Dave began with a long sigh after putting the kids to bed last week.

I had suspected this would be coming for some time now. After avoiding the topic all summer, the time to address it had arrived. We had some very big decisions to make.

“You know as well as I do that we have to stop trying to take on more than we can handle,” he said. And he was right. For months we have been trying to juggle entirely too much as a couple.

“So, where do we start?” I asked. Conversations like this are never easy.

“You have to let go of ‘Glee,’” he said apologetically.

Reprogramming our TiVo. We take it very seriously.

“Dave, I really think we can do it,” I was already getting emotional. “’Prison Break’ ended months ago.”

“I can’t believe that show lasted three years,” he said. I didn’t have the heart to tell him it was four.

“I broke free from ‘Desperate Housewives’ in 2008,” I reasoned.

“Really? Because you’re starting to sound a little desperate to me right now,” he replied.

“And ‘24’ won’t start up again until January. We have plenty of time for ‘Glee!’”

“One more season of ‘24’ and we will have officially spent a solid week of our lives watching Jack Bauer save the world,” he said, “and you are forgetting that we’ve also picked up ‘Dexter’ and ‘Chelsea Lately’ since then.”

“But Chelsea’s more of a filler,” I reminded him, “for re-run weeks, you know? That leaves us 26 weeks we could watch ‘Glee.’”

“Honey we’ve had the ‘Glee’ pilot saved since mid-September and are only 15 minutes into it.”

“That’s because you fell asleep,” I tried not to roll my eyes.

“So, why do you think I would stay awake next time?” He posed a good question.

DA-boop! went our TiVo, and gone was “Glee.”

“That’s fine, I said, but don’t take away ‘Modern Family,’” I pleaded. “I haven’t related to characters this much since Paul and Jamie Buchman back in the ‘90’s.”

“Plus,” I added, “I can’t let another season go by without adding a new show. We missed out on ‘Mad Men,’ ‘Weeds,’ and ‘Grey’s.’ I can’t let something so socially tragic as that happen again, and I'm not waiting for the midseason replacements to do it!”

“Fine, we add ‘Modern Family,’” he said with the push of a button.

Ba-DOOP! Yesss! “Modern Family” survives!

(Great show, if you haven’t caught it yet, btw.)

He continued to scroll through our list.

“’Oprah?’”

“Don’t you dare—“

“I’m just kidding!” he laughed as he continued scrolling down our “to-do” list. “We’re definitely keeping ’30 Rock,’ ‘SNL,’ and ‘The Office,’” he said, as if NBC were cutting a check each week to do so.

“Duh,” I replied. How does one become a Nielson Family, I wondered to myself? Talk about a job I was made for…

My thought was interrupted. “’Project Runway?!?’”

“It’s for the girls,” I lied. Not really, though. I’m a girl too…

“Wait a minute,” I said, pointing to the screen, “How many ESPN’s are there?”

“It’s for Fantasy Football,” he explained. As if that made it right. And I was just about to lecture him on the difference between fantasy and reality when he uncovered a secret little indulgence of my own.

“’My Antonio?’” he raised an eyebrow.

“Oh, I, uh, I have no idea how that got there,” I said, which actually was a complete lie this time. It got there because I put it there. On purpose. And I love it. Antonio Sabato, Jr.? Looking for love in Hawaii? If I didn’t have a husband, four kids, and a modicum of pride and self-worth, I would be all over the man once known as Jagger Cates. But since I do have said qualities, I’m totally pulling for Brooke.

Don’t judge me.

DA-boop!

(I must have said that last part out loud.)

(No worries, though. I’m adding it back as soon as he leaves for work today.)

(Antonio is down to his final three; I’ll keep you posted!)