Monday, August 17, 2009

Getting to Know You, Getting to Know ALL About You

I love my little brothers, identical twins who are now 30. I love them so much, that I will not use their real names in the following story, a story I was recently reminded of by fellow blogger, Tova Darling during her Totally Awkward Tuesdays last week.

As all awkward date stories begin, I was 17 years old…

It was the middle of a hot summer in Midwest Large City, and my boyfriend, Dean, and I had decided to take in a live production at a local theater in a park. “The King and I,” I think. But that is not important.

What is important, is that Dean was (and probably still is) about six feet, six inches tall and has very large hands and feet --- but this is not important for the reason some of you dirty-minded people may think it is.

Dean and I decided to take my darling twin brothers, whom I will call Amos and Otis (because that is what my dad considered naming them---until a nurse at the hospital begged him not to), to the show with us. They were 10 at the time, a great age to bring along on a date, really.

As the sun set behind the stage, Dean, Otis, Amos, and I settled into our lawn chairs for the show. Amos sat somewhere, I do not know where, but I know he kept his hands to himself. Dean sat to my right, his (very long) left arm stretched out around my shoulders, touching Otis’s chair, and Otis sat to my left, his (very mischievous) hands wrapped around a bucket of popcorn. I sat in the middle and watched the cold-hearted king fall for the charms of his British nanny, blissfully unaware of what transpired next to me while Anna was busy whistling her happy tune.

We all drove home in relative silence, which I thought was because Amos, Dean and Otis were as taken by the love story as I was.

Dean brought us home, Amos and Otis went to bed, and Dean surprised me with the following question:

“Did you know your brother stuck my finger up his nose during the play?”

“WHAT?!?!” I exclaimed. “Are you sure?”

Dean chuckled. “He held onto my finger and stuck it up his nose during the second act. I felt it. It was my finger.”

He washed his hands and went on home.

The next morning, as soon as Otis woke up, I confronted him.

“Did you like the show last night?” I buttered him up.

“Yeah,” he smiled.

“Did you have fun with Dean?” I asked.

“Yeah,” he smiled.

“Why did you stick his finger up your nose?” I sprang on him.

“That was DEAN’S finger? I thought it was yours!” he began to crumble.

“Otis!” I said, holding my hand up for him to examine. “Look at my fingers! Do any of these look like the one you grabbed last night?”

“I wondered why you didn’t flinch…” he was still puzzled.

“Dean can palm a basketball,” I went on, “I can hardly palm a grapefruit!”

“Was he mad?” Otis asked.

No, in fact, Dean was not mad. Being a younger brother himself, Dean thought it was hilarious, and we dated for many months after that.

But, I can assure you, that was the last time I ever went on a date with Otis.

(Update: Otis has grown into a bright, responsible, and handsome man, and, to the best of my knowledge, no longer sticks foreign objects up his nose. Amos, as far as I know, has never even tried.)


JenJen said...

My kids just asked me what was so funny.
I love Otis! "I thought it was yours..."

FRANNIE said...

That was AWESOME!!!!

Little brothers are the best!

Mrs EyeCanSee said...

Haha. Priceless.

Sassy Britches said...

Ornery little guy! You gotta love the premediation factor; 10-year-old boys crack me up!

Sassy Britches said...

Oh, and P.S., "The King and I" being my absolute favorite, I will have to say that it is ALWAYS important to the story. :)

Hazwani said...

OMG.. haha. Otis. Enough said. Nicely put.

la_vie_en_shoes said...

Bless the hearts of everyone involved! :-)

My little brother was a pistol and still is, for that matter. But I can't imagine life without him. To the best of my knowledge, he never thought I had man hands, though.

Diane J. said...

How funny! I have identical twin boys, they are 8. Guess what? One is named Dean (yes, I know that was your date's name, but I thought it funny, maybe I'm just a bit delusional today).

I better warn their older brother not to take them to any date night movies in the park, LOL.

I'm just lovin' this story.

Anonymous said...

This story is priceless! I laughed so hard reading it. I have to agree with you, the photo is adorable! Too cute.

Leah Rubin said...

Who are you kidding? I don't care how old he is-- he still picks his nose! (Boys of any age...)

Chris@Maugeritaville said...

Great stuff. The old finger up the nose trick.

Theresa said...

Cute pic of your brothers. Very cute story. Kudos.

Moxie said...

I cried when I read this. Haha. Too funny!!

pthies said...

So...Amos Otis was the local all-star center fielder for the Royals. Dad, being as cool and hip as he was and still is, wanted cool and hip names for his twin sons...but I suppose the boss put her foot down.

I still wonder how much cooler I might have been with the name Amos...

That being said...I (blue overalls, red shirt) was at that show too, Jules!

Everytime you take a piece of me, with you. ~ Paul Young

Jules said...

Everyone, I'm so glad you all enjoyed the story. I got a message from Dean this week, he said he had blocked that from his memory. Lucky guy.

Frannie, you are 100% right --- no offense to my little sister, of course!

SB, "The King and I" is fantastic, etc etc etc

Diane, you will have many, many stories to share!!

Leah, you are right. But now he only uses his own fingers.

P, I stand corrected. You WERE there. You just blended better than Otis. And I thank you for that. xo

Kim said...

A visual analysis of their photo tells me that Amos may have been off at the hotdog stand while Otis was getting up to his mischief! Those cheeks are just too cute!

kanishk said...

That was AWESOME!!!!

Little brothers are the best!
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